I'm the Dudley Moore of Gardening

It's true, I am the Dudley Moore of gardening. Dudley more was a talented musician and comedic actor with a couple of major films under his belt, Arthur being one of my favorites. He had a reputation as being a womanizer and a drunk. And while the former might have been true, he was not, in fact, an alcoholic. Moore used that as a cover for the worsening symptoms of a degenerative disease. He held on to his cover until he was so ill that he was unable to conceal it any longer.

In case you are scared, let me start by saying I don't have the disease Dudley Moore had. But I have kept my chronic illness a secret for many years. I've covered for it by calling myself lazy and always drawing attention to the shortcuts I've created...rather than the real reason I've needed to create them. I am living with a debilitating disease called Fibromyalgia, and I've decided it's time to put it out there.

You see, I am not a lazy gardener, I am a disabled gardener. I have found a ton of work arounds and accomodations that allow me to continue to embrace my love of all things plant-related. And things were going ok...until this summer, when I became a lot sicker. I have spent much of the last 4 months in bed. I've cancelled trips, missed conferences, dropped out of site online...all because of my health. And it kinda sucks.Thankfully, I have a new rheumatologist who is testing the crap out of me to see what's what.

But listen, I am not going to use this space to to talk endlessly about my illness. I want to talk about gardening here. But, if you are curious to learn more about what it is like to live with a chronic illness, I've started a new blog called Health Adjacent and corresponding Health Adjacent YouTube Channel. I am hoping that by being open and honest, I can help other people who are experiencing something similar.But don't go there expecting a lot of crying in your milk kind of stuff. I am doing my best every day to preserve my sense of humor and a tiny bit of optimism. And my blog and YouTube channel reflect that.

Believe it or not, there are a lot of folks in the professional garden writing folks who have similar issues. But they keep it a secret too...because we are all afraid that our employers or contractors won't believe we are still competent enough to do our work. Which is bullshit...I was competent before and I am competent now.

Anyway, thank you....thank you for reading this and for supporting me as an author and as friends. I look forward to many more posts together.

Comments

[Mcallahan36]

My Mom has 'Fibro' as she calls it - and finally got real honest about dealing with it, what she can and cannot do, as well as off a lot of extra meds that were making it all worse. She was a mess about 10 yrs ago -- and now, is almost back to her old self. Big hugs, hang in there, and glad you are working with a good doctor.

[Jenny Nybro Peterson]

Good for you, Jean Ann! It does take a lot of courage to disclose something so potentially debilitating and private. You are more than competent, and I admire your attitude and spirit as you deal with this. Best wishes and much love to you along the way, my friend.

[Jean Ann Van Krevelen]

Thank you both for your support! It was just one of those things I needed to do. And I feel good about doing it! Let me know if there are any subjects you'd like to see me cover...